21/90

Apparently it takes 21 days to build a habit, and 90 days to build a lifestyle. At least that’s one version of habit building, but whatever the true answer is – and I suspect there is no one single point of truth here – I know one thing for sure, consistency is key.

So today marks 21 days of no sugar and no flour. It’s been surprisingly easy, almost too easy. This fact makes me hyper vigilant, because I’ve been here before and it’s also all gone to shit before. Many, many times. Will that happen this time? Maybe, but I do hope not. Everyday I just keep at it. I’ve been watching videos everyday as part of a 30 day challenge which really helps, but since there was a 7 day prep week included in that, there are only 2 days of videos left. Obviously I can rewatch them, but that daily activity will stop, so I need to be vigilant that bad old habits don’t start creeping in.

No. 1 shit habit is when I start to convince myself that I can just try one piece of cake, or one small biscuit, or even a scone and butter or….I could list a hundred things. Except I know where that path leads, and it’s not a road I want to walk down anymore. Some of the last three weeks has been spent thinking about all the times in the future I won’t be able to have sugar, and all the times I’ll need to say no, whether to friends or family or work mates or whomever. About how awkward it will be, or how they’ll probably try to persuade me and how I’ll either need to appear rude/boring/annoying/ridiculous etc. in saying ‘no thanks, I don’t eat sugar’, then having to defend myself when the chances are I’ll be feeling weak and prone to slipping.

Except actually maybe none of those things will happen, I’ll just say ‘no thanks’, no-one will give a shit and life will carry on. Those fears come from the fact I’ve been here a hundred times and I guess I wonder why anyone else should believe that “I really mean it this time” when I’ve also said that precisely a hundred times before. Maybe it’s because I’m fearful to trust myself that I mean it when I’ve let myself down so many times before. All I can do is be vigilant to the addictive side of me as it tries to convince to ‘just have one bite’, to keep writing down my thoughts, working through the emotions that come up, and stay the absolute hell away from the white stuff

Twenty-one days down, now all the remains is to build the lifestyle.

Easy peasy.

2 thoughts on “21/90

  1. Lovely post and lovely to hear Lee. I understand your concerns around other people and the ‘letting yourself down’. But I do think 1) we get stronger and wiser with age and 2) often the only thing missing for it all to come together is ‘Why’. The why has to be bigger than the why not. The current situation has provided a very justifiable why and you’re building great habits to attach to it.

    Buy hey, you know all this shit so maybe it’s better just to say you’re doing great and I’m really proud of you. ❤️

    • Ah thanks! It’s important to go back to the why though, as it’s easy to push all that aside if addictive thoughts are taking hold. So it’s good to be reminded!

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