I’ve never really thought of myself as someone who deals with a lot of anxiety, and when you look up the symptoms of it, for sure I don’t experience the worst of such a disorder (is that even the right word?). However, after a friend shared a post about living with anxiety a while ago, i’ve realised that actually a lot of what was on there was like looking in a mirror. I’ve not written much lately, partly because I’ve been worrying about what to say or what people will think, ha! I wrote about feeling stressed and trying to manage that, and while I’ve made good progress, I guess I’m frustrated that things aren’t getting better more quickly.
I’m trying to do all the right things, I’ve quit my course for now to give me breathing room, I’ve stopped doing work at weekends, even though sometimes it would help me keep on top of stuff. However, I still felt like I was fire fighting at work regardless, so I figured claiming back my weekends was more important. I think I didn’t appreciate just how much moving and a new role at work would actually take its toll. I’m eating better too, and I’ve quit sugar again, because that always bites me in the fucking arse and I’m sick of it doing so. I’ve been doing some sessions from the Centr app as I mentioned last time, I’ve also started doing some yoga again, and most importantly I’ve joined a gym. It’s only £17 a month and is actually pretty good. I’m loving going, and all in all I’m training about 4 times a week. Most nights I’m managing to get to bed at 10pm or near to that, and while I’m still having some horrible nightmares at times, mostly I’m sleeping better.
What I can’t seem to shift is the irritability or over the top reactions to stuff, which I think is just stress rearing it’s ugly head. If something isn’t quite as expected I get a horrible sinking feeling my gut, and it takes ages to shake it. With that comes a ton of overthinking and overreacting which I HATE but can’t seem to shake or stop. I’m not even sure why I’m writing all this, lol, but I think it’s as much as to say we don’t always have everything figured out, we all struggle at times and being honest about it is better than pretending otherwise.
I know stress can take a while to resolve itself, and you just have to keep working on reducing it. I’m doing this, and just have to give it more time. More beach walks required I think; I went yesterday for the first time in ages and it made such a difference. That said, I’m always up for any tips if anyone has some good ideas for managing anxiety and reducing stress 👍🏼